What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops