What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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sky silverstein

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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