I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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