A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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