How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Yellow People !!

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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