Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Gay rights.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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