Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Pain Olympics.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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