Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops