Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

why are black people so fast? because there black

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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