What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

if you are reading this your wasting your time

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

star wars kid

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

One time i was sitting down

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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