Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops