So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

asians have slitted eyes lol

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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