What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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women's rights.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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