Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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