Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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sky silverstein

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops