What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Justin Bieber

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Grace Ackerson

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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