why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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