Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Poop

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops