Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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