What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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