Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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your so fat. your fat!

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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