whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops