Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Knock knock, COME IN!

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

How old is victor? Half past dead

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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