Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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woman's lacrosse

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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