whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

hers a joke... japanese people

What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

What is pink and gets wet a tounge

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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