why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops