roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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