A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops