Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Small Penis.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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