Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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