Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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