why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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