What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops