whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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kieran is a homosexual

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops