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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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