Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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