What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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