Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

[Insert anti-joke here]

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

Yesterday, I was assasinated.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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