A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops