Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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