What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

What's just not right? Left

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Penis

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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