A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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My cat just died.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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