One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Emily Walker.

Chick Norris... Enough said

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

i saw amango it splootered

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

Okay.

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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