What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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