How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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