What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

all hail based mark

Dig Bick Your dislexic

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

This is Heading 1

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken