A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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