What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops