A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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