What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Roses are red, yup.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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