Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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25

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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