What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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9/11

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops