What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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9/11

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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